Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
