I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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