Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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