dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
