Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
