Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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