yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
