it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize