Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Randomize
