That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
My liver just had a heart attack.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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