i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
