I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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