you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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