She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
