Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
