guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
