i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
