He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
You are a genius and a whore.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
