On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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