oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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