people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
