So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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