Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
