Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Randomize
