Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Randomize
