tell your sister to shave her snatch
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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