i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
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