I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
