im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
