The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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