they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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