I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize
