did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
accomplished twins. life is a go
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
