so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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