me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
