I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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