this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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