Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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