her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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