I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
