I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
