remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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