I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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