He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
