He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I need a beard to bite.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
