problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize