I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
i think i just lost a toe
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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