An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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