I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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