What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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