Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
