He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
