Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
