there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I would ride that face into the sunset
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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