At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
