i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
