i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Randomize
