if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Randomize
