just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
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