he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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