i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Randomize
