So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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