My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
