i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
