Got a toothbrush?
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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