If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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