dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
